note

one of the most important person in my life,

will leave the country I live in, and depart to the land

where I by far the most respect, yet despise.

I understand how words, especially on computer screens

will never be able to accurately convey

my gratitude towards her,

or more like,

the gratitude that we coincidentaly got close

and that she influenced me

in every single good way one could imagine.

-

there are times, when my self esteem just runs away

and leaves me with the biggest anxiety

that I may possibly be

the worlds biggest asshole and loser.

in those times, materials and status doesn't really help;

sweets, alcohol, the name of the school I go to...

but it's the persuation to myself,

that I may not be that bad after all,

considering all the,

both in and out beautiful friends I have

and how they have showed concern to me when I'm down.

I can not exactly trust myself

but I will definately trust my friends, and their opinions,

and then,

my self esteem starts to come back home again.

-

yet, it's ironic

how still,

it takes time to remind myself of

all the invaluable acquaintances

and how I act childish and igonorant

and I end up in self-abhorrence. as usual.

I really should grow up. 정말.

I think I talk too much, express too much.

maturity, is needed, immediately.

-

anyways,　あかりさん、 영원히 사랑해.

언제나 고마워