2009年8月8日土曜日

note

one of the most important person in my life,
will leave the country I live in, and depart to the land
where I by far the most respect, yet despise.
I understand how words, especially on computer screens
will never be able to accurately convey
my gratitude towards her,
or more like,
the gratitude that we coincidentaly got close
and that she influenced me
in every single good way one could imagine.
-
there are times, when my self esteem just runs away
and leaves me with the biggest anxiety
that I may possibly be
the worlds biggest asshole and loser.
in those times, materials and status doesn't really help;
sweets, alcohol, the name of the school I go to...
but it's the persuation to myself,
that I may not be that bad after all,
considering all the,
both in and out beautiful friends I have
and how they have showed concern to me when I'm down.
I can not exactly trust myself
but I will definately trust my friends, and their opinions,
and then,
my self esteem starts to come back home again.
-
yet, it's ironic
how still,
it takes time to remind myself of
all the invaluable acquaintances
and how I act childish and igonorant
and I end up in self-abhorrence. as usual.
I really should grow up. 정말.
I think I talk too much, express too much.
maturity, is needed, immediately.
-
anyways, あかりさん、 영원히 사랑해.
언제나 고마워

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